The first time in my life that I felt like I wasn't in control was when I became a grandparent. There were so many new feelings. One that surprised me was that I sometimes felt the other grandparents were cooler than we are. I didn't feel like I could measure up to the standards of grandparenting that they were setting. I don't know if it was jealousy, but I definitely felt "less than". I wondered if I would find my place and learn to be a loving grandfather.

This sentiment echoes what many grandparents feel, especially around major holidays when time with grandchildren becomes a precious commodity that everyone wants to claim. But here's the beautiful truth I've learned over years of working with families: Love is not a finite resource. It doesn't divide - it multiplies.

What I've learned in my own grandparenting journey is both humbling and liberating: love is not a competition. It's not about being the coolest grandparent or having the most impressive activities planned. It's about showing up authentically and letting your heart expand in ways you never thought possible.

Each grandparent brings their own special gifts to the family tapestry. One might be amazing at outdoor adventures, another at baking cookies, and another at telling stories about the family's history. These aren't competing influences - they're complementary blessings that make our grandchildren's lives richer and more vibrant.

The urge to control or compare ourselves comes from a place of fear - fear that we won't matter enough, that our influence will diminish, that we'll somehow lose our special place in our grandchildren's hearts. But when we release that fear and trust in love's abundant nature, something remarkable happens. We free ourselves to be exactly the grandparent we're designed to be.

I've discovered that finding my place as a grandfather isn't about competing with other grandparents - it's about discovering my own unique way of showing love. Sometimes that means simply sitting quietly and listening to my grandchild's stories. Other times it's sharing a skill or passion that's uniquely mine to give.

This holiday season, instead of measuring who gets more time or comparing activities, I'm choosing to celebrate that my grandchildren are surrounded by multiple people who love them deeply. Each relationship they form with a grandparent adds another layer of security, another source of wisdom, another wellspring of unconditional love in their lives.

After all, in a world that often feels short on love, isn't it wonderful that our grandchildren have an abundance of it?